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Here is a little snip-it of what I'm working on now. I had the wonderful opportunity to do a little family shoot this weekend with two of the cutest little kids I've ever seen. Denim, fallen leaves, adorable sweaters and new sneakers. Fall is nice.
Today, I will be dedicating the better part of the day to being exuberantly happy-editing photos, maybe reading some Lord of the Rings, and there might be a nap in there too...because being a Crazy Cat Lady for Halloween was tiring.
Mmmmm, my favorite season.
This is the only thing either one of us has had time to make in the last week. A four and a half day stretch of lost dog torture.
The only thing that keeps me from saying it was nothing but awful was the fact that she got lost in a very pretty place and Alex and I got to watch many a beautiful Fall sunrise and sunset while looking for her. We also met a lot of incredibly nice people in my parents' neighborhood who were more helpful and wonderful than we ever expected and I would also like to thank the DEC, Madison County dog wardens (except maybe one...), the Nuisance Wildlife Control Operators of CNY, that nice man in Manlius, local trappers and most of all...my parents' next door neighbor for having a lovely, unblocked, safe-feeling back deck under which Roo could hide...later to be found there by me. She's back...again. And I am so glad that is over. Back to normalcy, hopefully. Oh I missed her so.
Here are some art highlights from the Modern Museum of Art in Fort Worth, Texas. We looked at all of these (some goodies include Shahn, Still, Pollock, Rothko, Kiefer, Ando, Bacon, Innes and more!) and then went up to the Diebenkorn Ocean Park Series and saw some really beautiful paintings, prints and drawings from that. Then we had to leave because Rooka had gotten loose back in Dallas and the rest of that day was a blur...ending in a miraculous, somewhat fated-feeling finding of the dog resting under some trees next to a major interstate just in time for all of us to make it to a rehearsal dinner and happily begin the next few days of wedding affairs.
After nearly losing my little dog and then getting into yet another accident that was ill-fated and again, unavoidable and the fault of another driver, leaving me feeling...again...scarily helpless...I am beginning to feel that my life is a little out of sorts and needs some restructuring. That which I care most about is being teased away only to be given back the last minute after I've nearly surrendered inside completely, and I am literally getting two-ton metal machines thrown at me, forcing me to stop. Look around. Appreciate that I (and others) are still alive. And proceed, perhaps differently, somehow. This brings me to the point I have been considering considerably lately. That there are lessons to learn. And you must learn them. And if you push them away or try to make them wait, they may change form or person or shape or whatever, but they will always represent themselves to you. Because it is never the detail, the person, the exactness of anything that is the challenge, but the underlying feelings and personal difficulties this "thing," let's say, raises within you. If something or someone is difficult, it is because there is something in me that I have yet to understand or confront. An animal could make me feel the same way a person does. Or a car accident could make me feel the way my job does. And one way or another, one form or another, these things have to be worked through. Or we'll never break out of the cycles. And I am TRYING. In more ways than I can count, I am throwing myself at every thing that I find frustrating and challenging. And that's the best I can do. I never stay stuck. I miss art. I'm leaving my second job so I can get back to making it. And I realize the lack of "creation" in my life is a huge source of the disharmony.
Here I am in Texas again. It is sunny. People are nice. And there are a lot of fun things to do. Sometimes, I'm not sure "because I have a decent job" and "I can't afford to move yet" make any sense as the reasons we are still living in Syracuse.
Hmmm...but, alas, we are still living there...so I get to take magical plane rides over the country at sunrise sometimes. And take pictures.
There are dogs everywhere. Pretty cute.
And I've seen scorpions and a black widow spider for the first time ever. Nasty little creatures. And black widows are the evilest looking living thing I have ever seen in person. I can't believe anything is naturally THAT velvety black AND saturated red. Closed toed shoes!
Maybe these photos are already getting old, but the point is that they've given me material to continue to work with in between all Director duties when I'm at home. Sometimes I still laugh at that title.
Thinking a lot of childhood as of late. Not sure why. But I see it in these things as I write/make/art/edit and so on.
Texas soon. A wedding. Dresses. Drinks. The Texas sky. Warmth. Sun. And family, friends and my little Rooka. A good week coming up, including some fantastic art exhibits to go see. Just have to get through tomorrow and Saturday, which looks like it will be easy thanks to Krista. And finally reading The Alchemist to get me through the airports and flights, upon multiple recommendations.
Study Two of Self. 9.27.11.
I want to sculpt. I want to paint. But I don't really have time for either. So I choose to shoot. And to find the three-dimensional and the painting a place in the act. Thank you, Kirstin, for being a wonderful partner in Arting.
Sometimes I like the Libra.
I am beginning an old ritual again. I used to notice myself, meaning I had a sense of my own identity within any space, dynamic, or environment. This is something that never came naturally, but that I had been working on. I tend to pick up on the feelings, traits, energy of others and assume it myself. This can be a wonderful accident sometimes. But a terrible spiral into confusion other times. There is nothing that surprises me more than when you go six months without putting your hair down and when finally you do, quite suddenly, you realize it is so much longer than you've thought it to be for some time. How did you not notice? I don't like not seeing myself. And I use that word loosely. With the hectic nature of work lately and all the time spent doing, being, working FOR others, to produce what others need and expect for one reason or another, I feel more loose-footed than I'd like to. Yoga helps. Having a dog helps. Having a stable home helps. But, alas, these are not quite enough. So in an effort to make it THIS obvious to myself, I am going to continue "self" studies of one sort or another-one day a drawing, another a photo, another some free association ramblings...in order to literally reacquaint myself with something I have lost touch with. I am a horribly mutable person. I like this when I know I am working well with it but that takes constant checking in. And perhaps more solitude. I have about two and a half months ahead that will surely be trying in so many ways. And I want to come out better and happier. And more likely, in the future, to not suddenly find myself with hair down to my knees without having meant it to be that way or knowing how it got there, so to speak. Study One of Self. 9.26.11.
Oh the portraits I shall do...if I can get the time away.
