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Well, little blog that is sort of lost and pointless...I think we shall take a break for a while. I've finally put together the wordpress that I'm going to try and use "professionally" for my studio. This one here started as a school project and had a mixed-bag of intentions behind it when I did it. I'm attempting some semblance of organization and direction with this new forum and hope I can keep it up. Say hello to the J.Zehr Studio WordPress. :) Ciao.
After a fun date-day at the MOST with a couple of lovely ladies, I went home and prepared these masterful dino stencils for framing! :) They will decorate the office.
On the hunt for my home planetarium that I got when I was seven or there abouts. I would like to turn the home "office" into a grownup's play room, equipped with floor pillows and star projections. More playing!
I have officially resigned from the Associate Director position with the Ballet. In the interest of pursuing my own creative and academic ventures and dedicating more time to SU, including Graduate classes, I have made the decision with ease and with difficulty. Perhaps more difficulty. The decision was "Responsibility v. Responsibility," really. I chose Responsibility.
I love her. She melts me.
Still want to climb a mountain. There is a scene in The Snow Tourist where Charlie goes to stand in the middle of a frozen lake in Alaska, by himself, because he is afraid of his own fear to do so even though he knows the ice is feet deep. And he does it. And yells, "fuck you" to the lake. Or to himself. I can't even remember if he actually says that or if I imagined it. But I want to climb a mountain, is my point.
More doodling. I'm moving all of my media files onto an external. And in doing so, I'm just making it more fun by doing compilation sketches from the thousands and thousands of images from over the last 3-4 years. Doodles and noticing of trends. I love Fever Ray.
Doing some research into the symbology of chickens/hens/fowls.
I was part of the jury for the CNY portion of the National Scholastic Art Awards for high school students. I was on the photography portfolio panel. That was a tremendously positive experience and I cannot say how glad I was to be part of that. Very inspiring and enlightening. Thanks, Universe, for that one. And more specifically, to the person who presented me with the opportunity. Good vibes.
Back to sketching, thinking, writing. No TV, and a head full of books to digest, I find myself happy to sit and think and scribble. This is a rare event. I wish that weren't that case. But I never can do this unless I'm calm, alone and just quietly contemplating things. Rooka doesn't want to sit in the living room, so I do not bother to speak to her. Just keep the thoughts inward. And they inevitably come out my hands. Happy little sketches. Filling up a blank little book. Happy 2012! I suspect it is no different from 2011 yet, but surely, in time we shall see!!
I would like to climb a mountain this year. A big one. With snow on it. And get to the top. And sit there for a long time. Makes me think of the Seat of Seeing (Fellowship of the Ring). Reading a lot about climbing mountains, taking long journeys, and snowy places lately. Very much in my thinking currently. Winter is exactly the right season. If it ever gets here...
Latent Dream: I want to write a book on Astrology. This desire has become stronger in the last few weeks. But more importantly in the near future - this image will begin to become part of a project idea...whether this project ever comes to fruition is another matter. But there, I have said it! I want to use these in some sort of visual creative venture. Thinking about taking a little deeper of a dive into fiber arts and into 3-D things. All brought together with the camera. Mark my words, I will try to actually make this happen. I need a photo studio...yes. I do. And I may just be coming into the means to acquire one very soon. What a dream that would be.
Yuki-Akari, "snow light" in Japanese. One of the many interesting facts I learned while reading "The Snow Tourist" by Charlie English. And it is here!! Finally, it feels and looks like Winter. Rooka apparently loves the snow and is much better able to march around in it than I am. She is in her element...my little snow dog. We should have named her Qanuk, "snowflake" in Yup'ik (also from book). A Naturalist and Other Beasts by George Schaller is arriving via UPS today, along with The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen. One Lord of the Rings book down and two left to go. I am so blissfully content in this little apartment, with my partially painted walls (an ongoing project that is often broken up by photo editing and reading and NYTimes crossword puzzles) and BOOKS. My mind tingles with new information and stimulation and I never want this little vacation to end. These are a grown-up's "snow days." I love it.
Oh this is lovely. I think this is something I am ready to try now (pet shelter photography). I've been thinking about doing this ever since I had a dream I did it and then I was given a link to a story about a woman that did it. However, equipment is expensive, and it's difficult to know exactly what to get that is essential when I would consider myself and my experience as "natural light" photography. So...research and maybe a purchase or two...one studio light and a standing reflector perhaps...so glad I got the flash with "remote" capabilities. Everyday I fall more and more in love with Rooka and I've become a "guardian" with the ASPCA. I like this cause - action!
...Still saying, "I'm not paying attention to you." She's so cute though!! Little Rooka-Boo...my lovely.
Merry Christmas!!!
The portraits are finished! (And have been since Sunday...I stayed true to my promise!) And now I'm working on business cards for the studio. This is the one I'm leaning toward the most at the present moment. Because I absolutely love this photograph. And, I guess, in essence, I feel it best represents me as a photographer. So, yay! I'm off for the next week and Rooka and I will be spending time together, walking, sniffing, stretching, yawning, eating...you know...fun things. Alex has vowed to make me a logo for my studio because apparently doing so is impossible without illustrator and my current computer set-up will not allow such advanced work. Color-correcting in photoshop is about where her capabilities end. Another thing to fix in the near future. Classes start in January. YES! A perfectly timed vacation now to prepare me for all the fun things soon to come in 2012. 2012 will be my year of correct "yes" and "no." Wasted time irritates me. So does baggage. No more baggage. Mine or otherwise. Baggage does not belong in my life.
Well, it isn't finished yet. Tomorrow though, it will be. I woke up the other morning with this in my head (and for me it is forever linked with Kill Bill). My god, I love Nancy Sinatra. And well-made movies...or well-made anything.
I guess I miss painting. Perhaps it is time to drop one of my jobs and return to long hours of chasing some artistic vision with these smelly tools and seductively textured materials...there will always be something so correct about this medium for me. Toxic and finicky as it may be. But so full of incredible chemistry, intelligence, intuition, patience and urgency...I could go on and on. A year and a half of painting "silence" goes by and with this I feel like I'm speaking a language again, that I haven't had the opportunity to speak in that long. And something is coming through correctly. This is not an example of my current preference for "concept" perhaps. Though I find it very enjoyable. It is straightforward. Perhaps the last year and a half have been about the mind. And now, more mind can be applied to this practice. It's just easy. Like a native tongue is. Maybe it is my native language. And it isn't about how it looks. It's about how it feels. It feels like a language I should use more often. I think there are new things I would like to say this way.
...is that I have to sit on the futon all day and do something. That something turned out to be updating my website with some of the latest shoots. Yay. And speaking of latest shoots...here is a little goodie from a studio session with my two loves. Those two portraits will be done by sometime this weekend if it kills me!
Portraits & Family. :)
Latest projects! Commissioned portraits! And my hair. These portraits will be done soon, (finally have time to work on them, dear god!) and my hair is no longer anything remotely resembling this color. Woohoo. Changes. Progress. Fun.
And my photo studio needs a logo. Stat. That will be a holiday break project.
Sometimes, it is as quick and invisible as wind and it will just take something right out of your hands, out of your mind. The way time or distance can literally just take a feeling, a thought, a burden and remove it from you. In the best way. Or feelings and thoughts that cling, unwanted, can just be blown away if you aren't actively gripping them. And you find that you walk differently. Like a limp that goes away after a weight is taken off of you. And you act differently. I am so happy in this place right now. So far from where I've been before-not that those places weren't happy as well. But this, is better. Each is always better than the last. I move forward. That's what I do best. And as of the last couple of weeks, I feel not simply moved, but catapulted.
'Tis the Holiday Season, and I'm just now starting to notice and enjoy it. Cue the Vince Guaraldi Trio and hang the lights! I'm thinking about just buying World Wildlife Fund adoptions for everyone I know. I don't know how many of them would like that though.
"Mom, stop taking pictures of me. I'm going to pretend you aren't here." I love her.
4 months, over 2,500 guests, 3,000 programs, more hours than I can count and 3 performances later...The Nutcracker is over. And the Civic Center did a great job of keeping personal cameras under control so there aren't any YouTube videos that I can post. But suffice it to say, there was some absolutely breathtaking dancing and I'm so happy to have been a part of that. Granted, I think I grew some of my first wrinkles and my hair may have gone permanently straight from pulling, but it's completed. Now I have some SERIOUS photo editing to get crackin' on and some painting to do. And some martinis to drink. Phew.
I'd rather be editing...proof that I'm doing all I can when I can. but press releases, ticket invoices, order organizing and decision making on behalf of someone else's company keeps me mostly occupied.
I want to be a professor. For more reasons than I can list. And I will be. I can't wait to start working towards a Master's. The prep work begins in January, thank god. Then I want to publish a book on Astrology. Then I want to retire and open a flower shop/boutique where I can sell soaps, herbal teas and flowers and perhaps I can read natal charts in a little back room full of heather and blue.
And then I can get old and wrinkly, being happy, working for myself, making soap with old hands, reading, meeting and interacting with people, growing and arranging beauty and having spent a whole life professionally learning and sharing in knowledge and in thoughts and ideas. With a house full of framed photos to remember life by. In the meantime, I would like to fill up other people's houses with things like this because things like this are lovely to remember. Today was the full moon. Full and clear.
And I'm told it's time to get a wordpress or something. Okay...soon. Time, you slippery thing!
I thought this was hilarious. And this is a perfect example of why I love kids. I told her to show me her toys and this was the second one she decided to present to me. "It was in the attic."
Fantastic. I really liked this shoot.
Discovering that the great thing about being busy out of my mind is that my mind is literally too full to hold on to crap-thoughts it should let go of. I find this insanity to be quite sane-itizing, as it seems to be propelling me to new perspectives and breakthroughs. It could also be the Mercury transit right now...either way. I feel clean. And nearly weightless. Direct. Slightly manic, but in the words of my coworker, "this will all be over in a month." Oh please, November, be kind, and go quickly.
And oh music...I will make it back to you, I promise. You make me so happy. Devendra, again...saving the day. Most every day. The ballet never sleeps. And so neither do I! Onward...
In the last week I've shot over 2,500 photos and now will be editing them as quickly but thoroughly as possible. Three shoots in one week! How did that happen? Thanks to those who have helped this project get going and I'm looking forward to so many more projects, shoots and surprises! There is nothing...nothing...that compares to working for yourself. This is a much-needed boost at a challenging time and I think I'll be full steam ahead in just a short while. This is just the beginning! Back to editing and story-telling...
Here is a little snip-it of what I'm working on now. I had the wonderful opportunity to do a little family shoot this weekend with two of the cutest little kids I've ever seen. Denim, fallen leaves, adorable sweaters and new sneakers. Fall is nice.
Today, I will be dedicating the better part of the day to being exuberantly happy-editing photos, maybe reading some Lord of the Rings, and there might be a nap in there too...because being a Crazy Cat Lady for Halloween was tiring.
Mmmmm, my favorite season.
